Releasing Energy

This weekend didn’t turn out like I thought it would.  Last week Sophie and I had a little cold; after a few days our virus’ diverged.  My cold cleared up and hers took a turn for the worse.  Now we know she has a sinus infection that is topped with a whopping case of pneumonia.  We almost took her to the E.R. on Friday night because of her cough and rattling chest, but managed to make it through the night and saw her pediatrician Saturday morning.  Her blood-oxygen level was border-line, so he didn’t hospitalize her and instead treated her with a bevvy of “big gun” antibiotics.  We had a follow-up appointment Sunday morning with him, and today (Monday) we’ll go back in for another re-check.

Do I even need to say that I didn’t run with the ladies on Saturday?  I’ll say it anyway; I couldn’t bring myself to leave my sick kiddo to run with my friends.  My inner “Mama Bear” came roaring to the surface; I was not leaving my child.  Yes, my husband could have managed.  But when my babies are sick, there’s not a person in this Universe who can care for them and love them like I can.  I’m not leaving my baby when she needs me.

By Sunday afternoon things were pretty quiet in the house.  Bill was watching the pre-show game.  Chili was in the crock-pot, available for anyone who was hungry.  Sophie was dozing on the couch and Connor was making Valentine’s in his room.  It was the perfect time for me to sneak out and enjoy the late afternoon calm before the forecasted snow arrived.

Before leaving the house I told Bill, “I don’t know where I’m going or how long I’ll be gone.  Will just play it by ear.”  Not the most informative thing I could have said, but completely accurate.  It might be two miles, it might be seven.  I didn’t know.

My legs felt TIGHT.  No stretch in them at all.  They were so tight they felt like metal. This is going to be slow-going, I thought.  Oh well, at least I’m out.

And thus it went.

After a mile I figured that at this rate I should be able to keep going, so at the last minute I turned my two-mile loop into a 4.5 mile loop.  By two miles I was deeply regretting that decision, but plowed ahead.  At 2.5 miles, I stopped.

It was quiet out, and no one was around.  The Superbowl game had probably just started and everyone would be gathered in living rooms, glued to the T.V. I spread my legs into a wide stance, secured my elbows to the inside of my thighs and did a few spinal twists, breathing deeply.  A jolt of energy coursed through my spine.  I stood up and spread my arms wide, opened my chest, inhaled deeply, and exhaled with a loud, long noise.  It felt so good I did it a few more times.  I tried a few squats, a few lunges, and then reached as high as I could and did a little dance.  It was just me and my party, and I was the star. 

I imagined myself as a young horse jumping over the starting line and headed out again with a spring in my step.  The dance moves had loosened me up and the stagnant energy was flowing like a river in flood.  The air that whooshed into my body with every breath was FRESH, and sudden heat was moving all around me.  This is why I came out tonight.

As I ran by the trees I stretched out my hand and touched the bare branches lightly with my gloved fingers.  They passed some energy to me, and I gave them some of what was lighting my fire.  The knot in my neck loosened and melted away, and my heart felt a thousand pounds lighter.

The past several days have been heavy with worry.  Worry over my daughter’s health, worry over finances, worry over getting a job.  Too much worry and not enough life force jumping in to save me.  That’s okay though; tonight, I saved myself.  I released that stagnant, negative energy and turned it into something positive.  I reached into the Universe and used my powers as a Healer to help myself.  And, I danced.

Sophie’s doing better today.  We received great news about some money we desperately need for my husband’s business.  I received good news about a paying writing gig.  Did all this happen because of me?  I doubt it.  But I slept better last night and I don’t feel as bogged down.  This is good.