Interview with Joe Still Runs for Dom- part 3

This is the third interview with Joe Marruchella of Austin, Texas; the “Joe” of Joe Still Runs for Dom (you can find Parts One and Two on this site as well…).  Dom’s health declined rapidly in the past few months, and he recently passed away.  I caught up with Joe last week after he returned from the funeral, and we chatted about a variety of things.  Joe and I are friends on Dailymile.com, and I’m a regular visitor to his blog; this guy is one of the most active, passionate and compassionate people I’ve had the privilege of knowing.  He’s the real deal, folks!

Anyway, enough hoopla.  I asked him “what’s next” in terms of running and fundraising, and there are some surprising answers.  Read on…

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Lara: You were out of town a few weeks ago, at Dom’s funeral.  Dom D’Eramo lost his fight with cancer after battling for a year.  I know I’m using the words “fight” and “battle”, because he waged an all-out war against the disease that ultimately claimed his life.  You’ve put your heart and soul into honoring your friend.  Now that he’s gone, tell me what’s left…

Joe: You know Lara, I often wondered what it would be like if Dom didn’t win his fight with cancer.  I tried not to think about it too much, as there were a lot of times as recently as April, where it looked like Dom really had a great shot to beat this thing.  But the one thing I tried to remember is that this whole “Run for Dom” started out as a tiny idea, just a fleeting thought in my mind to honor our friendship and his fight by running for him and his family. Nine months later I was standing at the starting line of the Boston Marathon with his name on my shoes with more friends and supporters than I could count.  So I kept telling myself that I could not possibly know where we would be if it all ended some day, but that when I got there I would know what to do.

And sure enough, that’s exactly what has happened. I know that what I need to do, what I have to do, is keep running, writing, making friends and keeping Dom’s memory alive so that we can make sure that his two little ones not only have all of the benefits of an education that Dom would have provided, but that they also know that a lot of people loved their Daddy, and that he was an incredibly amazing man.

Lara: It sounds like your fundraising is taking a new direction.  You talk about providing an education for Dom’s kids; is there a new twist on the horizon?  Can people run and raise money for an education fund?

Joe: It sure has;  in about a week or so the fundraising site we created last year – www.runfordom.com will be re-launched under the same domain name.  I’ve spent the last week or so doing a design overhaul so I guess, technically, I could add “Webmaster” to my title(s).  We’ve opened two 529 Education accounts for Sierra (age 3) and Nico (age 1) D’Eramo and we will be running and racing to raise money for their educations.  The truly amazing thing is that other runners have asked if they too can “Run for Dom” – and they will be able to have their efforts linked through Run for Dom and money that they raise will go to the kids 529 plans.  Lastly, I am just now taking the first steps towards organizing an annual Run for Dom 5K run & walk on the anniversary of Dom’s passing back in his hometown.

I don’t know the first thing about being a race director.  But I know that there are a lot of people out there who do, and I am going to be working hard to find as much help and advice as I can to put on a first class event the second Saturday in August next summer.  I know Dom would shake his head, tell me I was crazy if he knew – but I also know he would think it was pretty damn cool.

Lara: It crossed my mind a few weeks ago when Dom’s health was deteriorating so rapidly, that an education fund would be a way to help Sierra and Nico, the kids that suddenly lost their Daddy.  Great minds think alike!

As for being a race director… Your passion for honoring Dom’s memory is opening a lot of doors and eyes to ways that people can connect to others in the community.  That’s what it’s all about, right?

Joe: I have been so touched by the runners who have reached out to me to ask if they could run for Dom.  A friend of mine that I met through Dailymile.com and the http://joerunfordom.wordpress.com/ blog will be raising money for the Education Funds with his first marathon, Chicago this fall.  He is truly amazing and said he will personally matching half of whatever donations he collects.  I’ve been repeatedly blown away by how much love and support Dom and his family has received.  The funny thing is, Dom was actually that guy that would do absolutely anything for you, without question.  That is why I am so passionate about telling his story.  He really was one of a kind.

I think you are exactly right regarding the 5K for Dom, Lara.  I don’t start out on too many things expecting to fail, but I have no idea how well attended the first couple Memorial Runs will be.  I’m hoping that we can start something that will be a great race and can hopefully help with Sierra and Nico’s college funds through any profits.  But no matter what, it will give all of us a reason to celebrate Dom’s life and his courageous battle every year and bring that community together in his honor.  The next year will fly by I’m sure – but I really can’t wait for that race day.

Lara: Will you be doing your own races this next year in Dom’s memory, as you did Boston and Pittsburgh a few months ago?  Or will you funnel all that energy into the Memorial 5K next August?

Joe: Oh no, I’ll be racing.  No doubt about that.  My next marathon will be the Austin Marathon on February 20, 2011.  Training starts October 18th.  So between now and then I have a couple of 10K’s, a half-marathon and a handful of 5K races on the books.  There’s actually a 5K this Saturday (August 28^th, 2010) as long as Baby Landry cooperates and doesn’t arrive early.  I’ll also be running two huge (40,000+ runners) 10K’s this Spring on consecutive weekends – so we’ll have another “double” on our race calendar as well.  I will focus fundraising however on the Austin Marathon where I’m going to chase another Boston Time.

Lara: You have a new baby about ready to join your household!  Do you think you’ll be able to keep up with all the races you have scheduled once you have an infant in the house?  How have you and your wife, Dawn, planned for the “baby” variable?

Joe: Well, I’m smart enough to know that I don’t know anything … so we’ll of course have to see how this all “shakes out” – but we’ve been able to work it out so Dawn will be home with the baby September, October and November, I’ll be staying home in December – so Landry won’t have to go to childcare until January 3rd or so.  I’m an early morning trainer as it is, usually out the door at 5 and back by 6:45 even on my long days, so we’ve worked out our tentative schedule that will give me my mornings to train (barring anything unforeseen), and I get baby time in the afternoon/early evenings.  Just about anything worthwhile has some pretty significant sacrifice involved, whether that is training, working, parenting, marriage etc. – we’ve always done a good job balancing those things for each other, and I’m hoping that continues.

Lara: It sounds like you and Dawn are pretty realistic about the unknown… you train and prepare as much as possible, and then just go with it and see what happens.  I’ll look forward to hearing about how parenthood adds another awesome layer to your already full, rich life.

Joe: I’ll tell you, I’ve had some pretty emotional finishes to marathons recently – but I’m betting that seeing that little girl at the finish of the Austin Marathon in February will be pretty special.

Lara: You know, for most people, having a kid makes them WANT to give back to someone else, ie their kids.  You’ve always had that instinct in your life though.  I don’t particularly have a point here, I’m just thinking about where you are in your own process of maturity, as compared to the “norm”.

Joe: You know what’s interesting Lara, is that I was actually reflecting this morning while going through my hill repeats… when you do things for the right reasons, because it simply is the “right” thing to do, not necessarily the easiest or the most convenient – there is almost nothing that you can’t accomplish.  I’ve tried to focus less on the results and more on the journey and I have not only been much happier, but I’ve ended up much more successful as well.  Not sure what my point is either – but I did find that interesting today.

Lara: I’m going to take a stab at this and say that’s one of the biggest lessons in life.  You have journeyed through a massive life lesson, so it’s pretty much second nature to you now.  Too often, people (and athletes in particular), focus on the end result, the goal of a particular time or place in their age group, and forget about the process that got them there.  Did they go into the journey mindfully?  Did they do it for the right reasons?  Were the reasons self-serving, or was there an aspect of altruism in there somewhere?  Athletes can be very single-minded and tend to focus on numbers and goals rather than the overall experience far too much.  I have been guilty of this at times, myself, so I think I’m qualified to make this statement.  And yet, we all find absolute joy in getting out of our heads and doing things for others, whether it’s race for charity, take time to help a fellow runner, or volunteer at an aid station so you can scream yourself hoarse while cheering on others.

Joe: I think you hit the nail on the head.  My father always used to say to me, “youth is wasted on the young” and I never had any idea what he was talking about.  Only now, over the last few years have I really “gotten it”.  He seems to get smarter and smarter the older I get.

Lara: Okay, you’re making me laugh!  Wise father, wise son… like recognizes like.  No wonder you and Dom saw into each other’s souls so easily.

Joe: One of the hardest things last week at Dom’s funeral (and there were a lot of hard things) was seeing Dom’s mother and father.  Dom was a “Jr.”, the oldest of three boys, and he was named after his father, Dominic Vincent D’Eramo, Sr.  As it’s so close to the birth of my first child – I really had a flood of things going through my mind last week.  But seeing the father bury the son was really tough.

Lara: Kids aren’t supposed to die before their parents.  We as parents aren’t supposed to bury our children, especially a child in the prime of his life.  How are his parents doing?  And Val, his wife?

Joe: The family was able to take Dom, the week before he passed away, on a trip to the Great Smoky Mountains.  They rented an RV, loaded everybody up and went away for a few days – and I think that time was really special for all of them.  Dom had been so very sick since July that I know that everyone who was close to the situation felt like Dom was suffering, in a lot of pain, and he now is truly in a better place.  That said, he was such a vibrant person, full of love, life, humor – he barely stood 5′ 7″ tall – but was larger than life.  His passing has created a huge vacuum in their lives that I know will be hard to fill.  The D’Eramo’s are a tight-knit family and Val and the kids have a lot of love and support in Pittsburgh.  In time I know they will all be fine – but we all miss our Dom.

Lara: How much money do you think was raised for Dom this past year?  The hospital bills must have been enormous.

Joe: The expenses that were involved with Dom’s treatment, procedures and his major surgery in November ran well into the hundreds of thousands of dollars out of pocket.  Through the two marathons we were able to raise $27,685 directly through Run for Dom.  There were other outright gifts that were made directly to Val and Dom as awareness spread and people in the community wanted to help.  Dom’s brothers also sold tickets for two large raffles that included a hotel stay, Penguins game, and dinner out on the town in Pittsburgh.  They raised more than $20,000 during each raffle as well.  So, a lot of good was done on behalf of Dom and the family, but there is still a long, long way to go on the fundraising side.

Lara: How can people contribute to Sierra and Nico’s 529 College Fund?

Joe: Checks can be made out to “College America” with Sierra or Nico D’Eramo’s name in the “For” line, and mailed to:

Northwestern Mutual Financial Network

5100 US Steel Tower

600 Grant Street

Pittsburgh PA 15219

Attention:  Mark Pellis

Lara: I think it’s amazing that so many people want to help Dom’s family, and that they’re running to raise funds to send two toddlers to college.  How can people get in touch with you about adding their marathon to the roster of fundraising efforts?

Joe: As I said before, I would love nothing more than to have other Athletes “Run for Dom” – nothing makes heavy lifting easier than another set of hands.  And we have quite a bit of lifting to do for those young children.

The best place to reach me directly is at:  joe-runfordom@austin.rr.com they can also visit the new www.runfordom.com in about a week or so, and there is a “contact us” page.  Anyone can submit a comment or question to me there at any time about Dom, the family, fundraising, training or racing.  It is one of the new enhancements to the site that I am very excited about.

Lara: Is the money tax-deductible?

Joe: Right now “Run for Dom” is not a 501c3 organization – so gifts to the family and or the 529 education plans are not tax deductible for residents outside of Pennsylvania as that is where the 529 plans have been opened.  For residents in PA, there are tax benefits and Mark Pellis at Northwestern Mutual can help with the appropriate documentation and forms.  I will also have a new “gift portal” on the new www.runfordom.com donation page that will make electronic gifts smooth and easy – much like we used Paypal last year.

When we have the 5K race logistics all set, my next big project will be to look into transitioning “Run for Dom” to 501c3 status.  That is a long journey – but nothing that this marathoner isn’t prepared for.

Lara: Joe, thanks so much for taking time to chat with me today.  I’m looking forward to following your training when it starts up again in October, and also hearing how your adventures in fatherhood are going!

Best from Colorado,

Lara